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| Making lots of progress honey! |
Seriously, I've been working for 3 hours straight to stuff Christmas back into my attic and I have not YET packed a single muther effing crate. How is that even possible?
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| What do you mean she can't use magic? What's with the "manual" pack-up? Is she of age? |
So we have:
- the chaos of Christmas STUFF that is (still) everywhere,
- the insanity of my over excited, over tired, over-stimulated, dare I say spoiled children (and yeah i know its my fault---suck it ok)
- my LEAST favorite activity of motherhood: forcing children into snow clothes
- to say nothing of the nutritional massacre that marked the good intentions death-spiral between Thanksgiving and Christmas...
And I am ready to explode. (Editor's Note: If I'm really this combustible, then I guess I really should stay away from any mention of summoning Christmas crap. Just sayin'...)
Side Note: Am I the only one who LOATHES dressing children in snow clothes? Its hard enough to get them out the door in shorts and a T-shirt. Screaming, crying, kicking, threatening to pee in one's pants... and that's just me!
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| Have you seen my gloves? |
And I have major epic fail syndrome when it comes to kids' gloves. First of all, we have about 11 single gloves, all for the left hand. No clue where the other ones went. Oh, and 3 of them are mine, so maybe its genetic. Second, no matter what I buy, either the kids hands are cold, or they scream and yell that the gloves are "bothering" them. And as much as I want to say "suck it then, wear flimsy mittens and get frostbite you little PITA!" I've been told that's bad parenting.
I even tried measuring the girls hands visa vie the instructions on LL Bean and Lands' End. I have no idea what I was looking at because we wound up with gloves that look like they would fit Shaquille O'Neal, and the screeching and crying over bothersome hand accutrema continues.
Anyhow, like much of the world this week, I'm trying to gain some semblance of control and normality (HAH!) in our lives, and I am being stalked sinister garlands and christmas towels that just. won't. go. away!
Oh, and then there's the post-holiday letdown. Winter Blues. Seasonal Affective Disorder. This sucks-party-is-over-I-don't-feel-like-cleaning-where's-my-damn-wand. Whatever you want to call it.
So I've been TRYING to focus on things that give me a positive outlook. Like the fact that the girls went sledding at school today and some other poor sot is in charge of getting the Terrorists in and out of their snow gear, the bathroom, and breaking up the fights over who gets the purple sled.
(Side Note 2: to the gent at the gym ellipticalling next to me in the Joey Buttufouco animal print parachute pants who actually asked me if I 'came here often,' you did not make me feel better. or flattered. The look I gave you can roughly be translated as 'Are you serious you sleazeball? Or are you just stupid? Do I LOOK like I hang out at the gym all day? Go sweat over there next to the lady in the green velour track suit with full make-up and jewelry on.' I would have actually said that, but I was too busy trying
In any event, to fight off the letdown, I've solicited from friends and family songs that make you HAPPY, or feel good, or laugh. And I'm evolving a playlist, which I've listed below. Please feel free to add or comment; the snarkier, the better...
January Day Dreams. A.K.A. Life is Good so Suck it January Blues!
- The Lazy Song; Bruno Mars
- Countdown; Jupiter One
- Supermassive Black Hole; Muse
- Once in a Lifetime; Talking Heads
- Marry You; Bruno Mars
- Bari Improv; from August Rush Soundtrack
- AM Radio; Everclear
- Line in the Sand; Zox
- Three Little Birds; Bob Marley
- S.I.M.P.; Phineas & Ferb
- Energy; the Apples
- Who let the Dog's Out; Baha Men
- What I Got; Sublime
- Hey Soul Sister; Train
- Shake Your Bon-Bon's; Ricky Martin
- Magic; B.o.B
- Here Comes the Sun; the Beatles
- No Myth; Michael Penn
- Float On; Modest Mouse
- Jung at Heart; Master Cylinder
- Tubthumping; Chumba Whumba
- Just the Way You Are; Bruno Mars
- Singing in the Rain/Umbrella; Cast of Glee
- Club Can't Handle Me Now; Flo Rida
- Romeo and Juliet; Dire Straits
- Weather With You; Crowded House
- Feelin' Alright; Joe Cocker
- Dynamite; Taio Cruz
- Somethin' About the Sunshine; Anna Margaret
- When I'm Up; Great Big Sea
- Raise Your Glass; Pink
- More Shine; Si*se
- Good Man; Archer Prewitt
- Wonderful Day; O.A.R.
So some of these choices might require additional explanations, which I think I'll save for another post. But for the haters who roll their eyes at Ricky Martin and S.I.M.P, seriously, if you download this list, you will catch yourself singing about shaking your bon-bons and squirrels in your pants. These songs are catchy and funny. But if you mash they lyrics together, you WILL get funny looks.
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