I'm Moving to Australia

Remember the book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day?" I love that book because it describes a common conundrum that drives the mood of many women (I think): a day in which nothing majorly overtly bad happens to you, but all the little crap in the world goes wrong and you are in an evil, evil mood by the end of the day. He concludes that he wants to just forget everything and move to Australia and start over, but they probably have those kind of days there too. Harumpph.

Its not even noon yet, and I'm ready to move to Australia. WHUCK?

Here is a small list of things that are driving me crazy today.

1) So we had a family heirloom project in the making in which an ancestor's possession would be divided up among her descendants. However I found out today that the family heirloom in question is not real. Fake. Worthless.

That's awesome. No more details provided here as I have to call my mom about this first, but still, as Ron White would say, "There's some good news!"

2) My dog ate tinsel and red garland. A lot of it. Wanna know how I realized that? Well, evidently it doesn't digest. It comes out the back the same as it goes in.

Only in this case, Boo decided to drop her contribution to reconstituted Christmas decorations in the bathroom. And I was REALLY confused. Whose sparkly $hit was on the bathroom floor. Did the Terrorists eat christmas decorations and then not quite make it to the toilet? But they've been in school all morning...

Did I really walk past it this morning? I know I needed coffee, but... Maybe it was the guy fixing the drywall? Maybe he doesn't like our Christmas decorations?

Ah, wait, Boo can only drop her, umm, stuff, on the carpet. And the steps were blocked with aforementioned drywall-fixing accutrema. So the little area rug in front of the powder room sink provided her Necessary Room requirements. Awesome.

3) Went to WW today for the first time since the broken foot. Suffice to day, the weigh-in did not go well. AND they completely changed the system that had been my food religion for 12 years. And its different. And I can't cheat anymore. CRAP. You should have seen me in Wawa trying to figure out the "new" points for a soft pretzel. I had out the little calculator and my book and a pencil.

I gave new meaning to the word "tool."

4) Caterer called and they can't supply a person to help staff our Christmas party. So I'm doing it myself. Even yesser. Its actually not really a big deal, its just the whole "I can't enjoy my own party" as I'm hobbling running around trying to make sure all the food and beverages are out and edible.

And NOW I'm late for school to pick up girls and will have to take the evil eye from one of the teachers.

I would totally crack open a T-box right now, except I can't figure out the damn points value...